Waynebob Werewolfpants: I'm Your Biggest Fantic
Episode 3 of Waynebob Werewolfpants Transcript: and Nutty are at the Ghast Convention, where everything is about ghasts. Wayne is wearing a ghast hat, Nutty is wearing a net on his head Wayne: Wow! We're actually here at the biannual Ghast Convention!! Nutty: Ghasts are awesome! Wayne: Cool! State-of-the-art ghast nets! touches one Nutty: Touch. Bonkers: Don't touch. walk up to a giant harpoon with gobs of jelly on it Wayne: Wow! The harpoon from "Ghasts: The Movie"! touches it Nutty: Touch. Bonkers: Don't touch! walk up to a crowd, watching a rodent with a giant sore on his cheek pointing to a board with a mean ghast picture on it Wayne: Look! Dr. John! The guy who got stung by Big Lenny and lived! [[Honest John (An American Tail)|'Honest John']]:' And now it only hurts when you touch it. ''goes up and touches it. John screams in pain '''Nutty: Touch. Bonkers: Do I have to follow you all day?! Wayne: Nutty, look! Can it be? Nutty: Ice cream? Wayne: No, it's the Ghastspotters! see a crowd of characters around [[Mushu], Genie, Bambi, Kronk, Philoctetes, and a prince, obviously the leader] Townsburg's premier ghast enthusiast club! And their leader! The coolest ghast enthusiast ever! up on the prince Prince Hans! Nutty: What's so great about a nerdy prince? Wayne: If I could just touch the hem of his pocket protector, then maybe some of his greatness would rub off on me. Nutty: Wayne, as a friend, I must say that's really geeky. guy in a giant ghast costume walks by Oh my gosh! Jeffrey Ghast! Wait, Jeffrey! I have to touch you! after him, followed by Bonkers yelling. Cut back to the Ghastspotters Bonkers: Hey! Hans: Bamboo? I only use composite materials in my net handle. crowd furiously writes notes Crowd: muttering as they write Composite materials? Hans: Next question. crowd furiously writes notes again Crowd: muttering again Next question? Wayne: out in front of the crowd Hi, Hans. Hans: Hi. What is your question? Wayne: Hi, Hans. Hans: Whatever. Next question, please. points to the other side of the crowd, Wayne pops up there too Wayne: Hi, Hans. Hans: Hello. All right, you, way in the back. Wayne: up in the back Hi, Hans. Hans: Does anyone here have an actual? hear Wayne heavily breathing from the left. Hans and the rest turn to see him Wayne: Hi, Hans. I'm your biggest fan. Hans: You're too kind. yells Security! Wayne: No, wait! I would do anything for you! Hans: Punch yourself in the face. does so with a boxing glove. His face is pushed in a bit Doesn't that hurt you? Wayne: up a metal glove with spiked knuckles Do you want it to hurt me, Hans? and the Ghastspotters all laugh Hans: That was the best! This guy's great! We have got to bring this guy ghast hunting with us! Mushu: No, Hans, no. Hans: whispering Look, I won't let the guy join the club. I just want to see how many times he can get stung before he goes running home like a baby. Genie: Hans is a genius. Hans: Hey wolfman, how would you like to try out for the Ghastspotters? Wayne: a hospital bed. The doctor zaps him with the defibrillator and Wayne jumps up I'd love it! to Hans, Mushu, Genie, Bambi, Kronk, and Philoctetes supposedly walking through Ghast Fields with their legs Hans: Ah, nothing like driving through Ghast Fields with the top down down to see that Wayne is carrying them in a wheelbarrow. He stops Wayne: Okay, here we are, Ghast Fields. tips the wheelbarrow, dumping out The Ghastspotters Hans: I hope you didn't forget our nets. Wayne: I didn't forget them, Hans. They're in the trunk. turns around, and the back of his pants opens like a trunk. The Ghastspotters take the nets and jars out, revealing Wayne's butt I can't believe I'm actually out here with the Ghastspotters! I mean all my life I wanted to be a Ghastspotter, and now I'm out here with you guys with the nets and the jars and the ghasts and I'm with Hans and Hans is with me and we're all with each other and we're all ghast hunting and it's fun and- Hans: Hold it! Before you become a Ghastspotter, you have to pass a rigorous test. Your first test: catch a ghast. ghast flies into Wayne's net Wayne: Hey, I caught one! Am I a Ghastspotter now? Ghastspotters: One ghast, in the net Hans: Uh, that doesn't count. slaps the net and the ghast stings him, it flies away. Hans grows a giant red sore where he got stung I meant two ghasts! ghasts fly in Wayne's net Ghastspotters: Two ghasts, in the net Hans: That's not what I meant. I meant 20 ghasts! ghasts fly into Wayne's net Wayne: counting Oh, Uh, Let's see, one, two, three? growls and kicks the net, causing all the ghasts to sting him. He now has a bunch of sores. Cut to the fields, where Hans has a jar of jelly Hans: Ghastspotters allow ghasts to eat jelly off their face. smears some jelly on Wayne Wayne: Who wants to lick my cheeks? ghasts fly by I see I have some takers? Hans: How does it feel? now has ghasts on his muzzle. He laughs Wayne: It tickles my nose! Hans: Not for long. and the Ghastspotters laugh. Wayne sneezes and all of the ghasts fly onto Hans' eyes. They sting them and now he has big red swollen eyes Wayne: Am I in the Ghastspotters now? Hans: No! I have many more tests for you to take! to Wayne walking upside-down, with a net and a ghast Wayne: Am I in the Ghastspotters now? ghast stings Hans' nose, making it big and swollen Hans: No. to Wayne having caught a ghast blindfolded Wayne: Am I in the Ghastspotters now? ghast stings Hans' hair, burning it off Hans: No. to just Wayne Wayne: Now? hear zapping sounds. Now Hans' ears are big and swollen Hans: No. to just Wayne again Wayne: Now? zapping noises. Hans' lips are now huge and swollen Hans: No. to Wayne once more Wayne: Now? Hans' behind is now huge and swollen Hans: screaming No! Wayne: Now? ZAP Now? ZAP Now? Hans is just a big swollen humanoid thing Hans: Okay, Werewolf, it is YOUR turn to get zapped! I mean... are you ready for your final test? Wayne: I'm ready! Hans: You'd better be, because we're going to capture a queen ghast. Wayne: A queen? Ooh, can I help? Hans: Oh, don't worry. We can't do it without you! to Wayne being tied by arms and legs, hanging from two sticks Wayne: This is fantastic! I've never been bait before! I don't think I've ever seen a queen ghast either. Hans: Well, then you've probably never used a queen ghast call. Why don't you try it out? hands him a blower thing. Wayne blows and it makes a weird groaning sound that sort of sounds like, "Loser." Wayne: Hey, I've heard this call before. Hans: I'll bet you have. Ghastspotters walk off Wayne: Hey, where are you going? Hans: Oh, don't worry, we'll be right behind this bush. kneel down behind it. Hans gets zapped again. He stands up covered in sores, a ghast flies off Who's got my sting ointment? kneels down again Wayne: This is great! When I pass this test, I'll be an official ghast spotter! continues to blow that horn thing, which keeps saying, "Loser." Soon, it becomes dark and he's tired of blowing Hey Hans, I don't think it's working. Nothing? giant shadow looms over Wayne. He looks up, to find a giant ghast with a tiara. It's The Mechanic Ghast Queen! Hey, hey Hans! She's here! Look, she's here! She's here, Hans! She's here! bush blows away, revealing nothing except Hans' ointment. Wayne screams and the ghast zaps the poles off. Wayne runs up and down hills, dodging the ghast's tentacles. He comes upon a cliff and can't go any further. He begs on his hands and knees Please don't be angry, your highness! I would have let you go! then, a screen on the ghast opens, revealing Hans and the Ghastspotters. They laugh. Hans? Hans: That's right! You should have seen the look on your face when we zapped you! Wayne: But...What about my final test? all laugh Hans: Did you think we'd actually let you into the Ghastspotters? Wayne: But Hans, I was your biggest fan! Hans: So were they. points to the bottom of the cliff, where a bunch of characters are by a fire. One looks up Guy: Look everybody, Hans is back! all yell up at him in praise Hans: You looked so dumb with your dorky ghast call! and the Ghastspotters imitating Loser, loser, loser loser loser! Wayne: I am not a loser! Hans: Loooooser! Hans continues, a giant, even bigger than the queen, ghast comes from the cliff. It is wearing a robe and a crown. The Ghastspotters finally notice Cnidaria rex! Wayne: King Ghast! king sees the queen and is instantly smitten. It grows lips and puckers up Hans: Kissyface! queen and Wayne run off. The king gives chase. The queen eventually crashes into a billboard for Hans' Ointment and breaks apart. The king sees Hans, the Ghastspotters, and Wayne Ghast King: angrily Haaaaaannnnnnns! zaps the ground and they all run off. They find refuge in a cave. The king ghast comes back with a helmet and football uniform and attempts to bash in the cave. Inside, the Ghastspotters and Wayne are pretty scared. The bashing stops Hans: I think he's gone. One of you go out and check. Ghastspotters push Kronk out of the cave to see. He looks around and waves happily, giving the all-clear. But he's zapped and screams not to come out. All the Ghastspotters go around Hans asking what to do Don't look at me! I was just in this for the fashion! up on Hans's pants, with patches, stickers and a toy ghast coming out of his pocket It's hopeless! We're trapped! We're trapped! sits down and curls to a ball Help me, mommy! Help me! I want my blankie! I want my blankie! Wayne: Mushu, Genie, Bambi, Kronk, and Philoctetes Now what do we do? Ghastspotters get down, shivering. Wayne decides enough is enough and goes out to face the king. The king growls and squeaks. Wayne takes out some bubbles in response. Ghast King: What the? inhales and blows a bubble in the shape of a giant cherry pie. The king, satisfied, leaves to eat his snack. Hmm? Mm, mm, mm! Yummy! Genie, Bambi, Kronk, and Philoctetes come out and gather around Wayne. Hans follows Hans: I can't believe it! How did you know? Wayne: Everybody loves pie! Hans: Well, Werewolf, that was impressive, but you're still not in the club because you didn't catch a queen ghast. other Ghastspotters run over to Hans, off-screen Wait, what are you doing? rip Aaah! run back with Hans' hair and place it on Wayne Wayne: Wow, I didn't know this was a wig! stands in agony, the top of his skull exposed Hans: teary-eyed It wasn't... to back at the convention Wayne: Hi, Nutty! Nutty: Hi, Wayne! Did you get into that club? Wayne: Yeah, but I turned them down. It's not about Hans, it's about ghasts! Nutty: Well, Wayne, I'm glad you learned your lesson. out to see that Nutty has Jeffrey Ghast tied up in a wagon he's towing Hero worship is unhealthy. two walk off C'mon, Jeffrey. Category:Spongebob Sqaurepants Spoofs Category:Episodes